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Birthday Musings
August 21st, 2008 by dimapakali
The time for grand romantic gestures is up. Now I have to face reality that I really didn’t end up with my prince charming, that our love story doesn’t have a happy ending. Much as I want to continuously hope that he will show up in my doorstep with a bunch of flowers and dark chocolates to woo me back, I have to wake up from my stupor and rejoin the human race.
The past few years have been tough. It took every ounce of my strength to put up a brave front and to show everyone in my world that I made the right decision to get married and to stick it up with him. And now I am spent. I am done pretending. I was not okay. I am still not okay. How could I be? My marriage is a failure. The guy whom I adored and loved the most just disappointed and hurt me. The prospect of raising Jamie alone is daunting – and so is finding love and happiness in my imperfect little world.
I am just thankful that the whole ordeal did not embitter me. I guess I really am an Atenean after all. I still believe. I believe that God has other plans for me and Dough. But I am through foolishly hoping for a miracle of heart. I now accept that it is over, so I have to move on – wounded but slowly recovering.
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